The good woman

The good woman will love her man. She will love him, she will love him like Christ loved the world. 
She will take care of him. She will know him inside out and she will love his strengths and nurse his weaknesses. She will be loyal to her man and will not hear anything ill about him. Where she suspects that her actions are against his wishes, she will surrender them. He is her alpha  and he is her omega. There is no in between. She will be truthful to him. She will calculate his feelings and respect his wishes. Where she finds herself torn between two choices, his is the final word. Her aim is to satisfy him. Her existence is to obey him and to build him an empire. She assists him. She births his children and raises them under his laws. That's what the good woman does. She thinks ahead to make sure he is happy. She introduces new ideas to him, ideas that will be of assistance to him. She is a strong and smart woman.

He will come home to the warmth of her arms and he will sleep in the ecstasy that lies between her thighs. His back will be clothed by the finest fabrics and his face washed with the purest of waters. He will be sent to work with a kiss on the cheek. His aims and ambitions will be catered to and she will listen and advise him while she washes his feet. She will love him. She will wish nothing but the best for him. She feeds him. She makes every meal his favorite. She does not allow any other woman to feed him. He is hers to feed. She uses the best spices and bakes the sweetest treats. They belong to him.

She will pray for him... She prays for her family. She prays for the paths he walks. She prays for the money he brings home. She prays for his colleagues. She prays for riches and for love. She prays for her children. She prays for herself to be a good woman for her man. She prays for protection against the works of Lucifer, that when he wants to meddle in her family may he be burnt by the fire of Christ around their house hold.

She works hard. She trades, sells, receives and negotiates. She does this for her family. All those riches belong to her man. She sacrifices her wishes for her family. She is a good woman. When they speak ill of her man, she ignores them. She protects the image of her husband and sticks by him. 

She need not scream about the love she has for her man. Anyone with eyes can see it in her eyes. She is loving. She is kind. She speaks only in affairs that concern her. She rebukes gossip and wrong doing. She knows no other man but him. Her duty is to love him. She is faithful to him, in mind, in body and in heart.

There lies this woman in each and every one of us ladies. We must be careful on who we show her to. We must pray that she finds the good man... Being a good woman is serious work, she is strong and faithful.

The good man leaves everything and everyone and loves her. He loves her publicly. He loves her unconditionally. He appreciates her. He kisses her flaws. He encourages her. He compliments her. He finds her juices sweeter than the best wines. Her skin is his playground. He is content when she is smiling. He provides for her. He lays his head only on her bosom. He is faithful to her. He is weak when she is not near. He cannot wait to meet her warm embrace when he gets home. He longs for her scent when she is in another room. He is completed by her. She reigns his thoughts, body and heart.He is faithful to her. He only longs for her. 

When he makes mistakes, he apologises, learns an changes. He works hard. He finds everything that his family needs.

He prays for her. He prays for his family. He prays for his strength. He prays for the good spirits to safe guard his home when he is not there. He takes his family to the house praise. He leads his family in prayers. He is a good man. He resembles himself with Christ and loves his family like Christ loves his people.

Do you think he exists? Nah... All we have are rotten men. Olwabishi. Men that cheat, men that steal our hearts and throw them off the cliff. They don't care. Men who tell us that they love us but sleep with our sisters. men that manipulate us and make us their slaves by lying to us. Men that promise us marriage to suit their selfish needs. They chase, conquer and move on to the next victim. LOL ngyadlala (a little). Our men love with their mouths but not their actions because we don't build our relationships on the rock that is Jesus. We build our relationships on club floors, fancy cars and expensive foods. Sonke siWrong

We have good men... but you know where they are? They are in your friendzone... They are at church, busy praying for a woman just like you...

Never be a good woman to a person that has not asked you to be... 
____________________________________________

I am not bitter... I am mad as hell

Aneh

The other woman will be called a hoe for as long as the ANC rules

So you got cheated on... You are hurt yada yada... Can we talk about the other woman though?

I started writing this blog post with so much anger in my heart. I generally am very angry... Furious... I could be called a maniac. I have spoken about this mania before... It sits in between your eyes and wants to break open your skull in half. It makes your body shake and your fingers vibrate due to the fur... But we must calm down and think about this. We always want to be the victim hey.. But are we really?

I am at an advantage because all of the partners I have had I have good relationships with their friends and I have been "one of the boys" for so long. Also when I was in the student movement in University I was always around males and this is possibly why I am now such a maniac hey. Men do not think like we do ladies. I think we must just accept that and move on. Men are manipulative and skillful in getting what they want, when they want it and how. They are able to switch the roles and have them as the head and you just follow. You may think you are in charge and that you are controlling but a real man will let you believe that for trivial things but for the core things a man runs the relationship. Accept it. Unless uthandana nesiyoyoyo thizeni.

"Kanti what does he want?" Yes we have all said this line when we find out that he has another woman somewhere. Especially when you can identify with her. Especially when you know her name and you know what she looks like. I think its the worst when you know u "star" wakho and ungamukhomba noma ebheke le. It makes you feel like you are also a side chick. Why must you knowingly share this man. Ngoba enzen vele that he would be that special.

Men are the seekers. They have a variety of women to chose from and only when they find what they like do they pursue you. First round leyo, its purely physical, does he like the way you present yourself, your looks, your body etc. The second round is for him to gather whether you have the skills he requires in his life and whether you too have things in common. Ladies, HE decides whether to continue with your or not. As much as we like to think the ball is in our court. Its not true. A woman will locate the attributes she wants (money, stability etc) and then will deal with whatever the attribute comes with. Meaning, if a woman is after money (isib.), she will put aside her other preferences and only look at the money factor, whether the man is ugly, ill spoken, rural or over weight. BUT the guy will NOT continue with you if he doesn't firstly find you attractive etc. The third round is when you are actually dating, he looks at everything that you do, whether your communication skills are good or whether you are the typical wife material or if you have the attributes that HE values. This may take minutes or years. Only when HE is happy with you and the person you are , will he marry you. So do you see who runs the world? The mistake we make is thinking that we have "won" him just by a nigga asking you out. When we play hard to get etc, that nigga is busy manipulating you, ukushela loko, and he will twist your own words and confuse your own arguments. You will find yourself daydreaming about about something he said in passing. IF you like him already then its easy for him but if you dont kumele abe bukhali. Not all niggas are sharp at this. And yes ladies, a man can pursue you as a game, not that he liked you or maybe because he is just testing out his skills. Not every man that wants to take you out wants to marry you. Mhlambe ubezidlalela nje.

Ngokuqoma nje. We give "wife benefits" to a nigga obezidlulela nje ngendlela. No woman can trap a man that does not love her, unless he was forced by his mom to marry you. In the second round is when he is probably dating many of you, like a fisher man casting his net, he reals in all sorts of fish and will only select the ones that he likes... Even when those few fish have been picked, they will not all be eaten. We are in constant competition with other women and one must never get comfortable. Even when you are confident in that he loves you. Until a man proves his love to you over and over again, never be too confident. Science explains this very well. Is object A an apple? Ask yourself, does it LOOK like an apple? Does it TASTE like an apple? Does it FEEL like an apple? Does is SOUND like an apple? and Does it SMELL like an apple. As soon as one of these questions is a NO then we can conclude that object A is NOT an apple. Love is the same... You must feel it, see its actions, hear that you are loves and taste it, if its bitter leave it and if its sweet keep it. Stop staying in a relationship of promises and fantasies. If he loves you, he must prove it.

However... When a man cheats... Funny enough, it is not about you. So don't go changing yourself. Cutting your hair. Changing your fashion style and stuff. You wont believe it, but the other woman is just a normal girl. JUST like you. She has no magic powers and no, she did not go after your man. I suppose its the whole
 thing of "imina umem" that confuses us hey. Did you know that YOU will always be a side until proven one and only (marriage). Even then ungaziphakamisi because umuntu wesilisa will show you flames hey... You may find that he has another girl just because she laughs at some of his stupid jokes. Or maybe simply because she makes him coffee emsebenzini. Men are not long term thinkers, they are not emotional investors. That is our weakness I suppose. Men are weird fam, and he can change in a matter of seconds.  Only once it is too late to go back can he actually see what an amazing woman you were to him.

Men actually find thrill in just experiencing as many women as they can. It appeals to them. So when he is busy thrusting into another woman or flirts with another woman or what ever. It is NOT a reflection of his lack of love of you or disrespect to your relationship. Men like hoes. Hoes are fun loving, easy and are stress free. They are exactly like men. Living for now and thinking about temporary goals. These are women who purposefully date the men of others. That is what they were created for. To come into happy relationships and ruin them. They dont care about your man. bazidlela imali nomuntu nje qha. No value.

Then there are those of us that are so tired of investing your emotions in a serious relationship. We then just settle for men who we know are not available for us. Simply because they are EASY to deal with. Wena you just get the benefits of dates and sex, whilst the main or u "mam" does the washing, cooking etc. Its easier that way, so that when he randomly says he is through with her, she can easily pick up her heart and go. If you have gone through a real and serious break up, you know how painful heartbreak is when you have invested so much into it. Akudlalwa. I for one, understand these women. They end being sides for a long time because abahluphi hey. They also have no demands and no expectations. As long as he keeps her happy in the bedroom/bank nje. They will tell the main straight to her face, "Im not breaking up with him, ngiyamthanda nam. Anginankinga nawe mina". And she means it.

There are those creepy women that hope to be "promoted" into the position of main girl... These poor souls. Its a combination of having bad taste in men, lack of faith and also just bad luck. If you ever think these thoughts "He will realise that Im perfect for him", "He just needs time to see that she is all wrong for him", "His girlfriend does abcd wrong, so i must do abcd correctly, he will love me" and the famous one "He is only with her because they have a kid/ he is married to her/ she has money. He doesnt love her". GHEL... Phuma kuleyo relationship yaz. A nigga will use you for as long as YOU want him to. If YOU aren't the one... Ghel... You aren't. You may cook him delicious foods that we see in the magazines smear diamond sauce and gold chocolate mousse. You may f*ck him till he cries and speaks tongues. Do sommer saults on his D if you like... If you aren't the ONE. You aren't. 

When is it enough ladies? Tell me...  I swear as soon as you say "I love you too" the worlds change and you literally become the person always chasing for commitment. And when you love some one, you can lose yourself and end up doing things in a weird and funny way. But... The other woman exists... She is there, She kisses your man and embraces him. He loves it and he will continue to play both of you... She may know about you or she might not, in the latter case, she might be you.

Tholukuthi even you are a called a hoe by others. Its YOUR man that allows it. Men! Bloody bastards all of them...

______________________________________

I am not bitter... I am mad as hell...Aneh